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Sunday, 29 January 2012

To Wig or not to Wig?

So, I'm nearly done with Chemo and my hair is back - I still look like a tennis ball as its very short but I could now go without my wig.  The problem is I can't seem to take the step of giving it up.

It seems silly to me that getting back to normality could cause me such angst, but I guess its more peoples reactions that I'm worried about - which really isn't like me at all.  Being so short I know people will look at my hair and probably think to themselves "Hmmmm Cancer" and I don't want to be treated any differently because of that.  And lets face it - my hair like this - not a fashion statement!

I think my reluctance to let the wig go is because before I lost it all I had really long hair to hide behind and my wig affords me the same option!  It's a confidence thing too - although short hair does suit me I just feel....well naked without my mane!

I'm sure a lot of the women who lose their hair through chemo or other reasons go through this but I wasn't expecting to be so bothered by it, it's just hair for God's sake! Why should I care what anyone thinks?  It will grow back properly soon enough!

So now the question is.....when will I be brave enough to lose the wig?  I will be going out for lunch with some friends in a few days...should I just take the plunge?  I will keep you posted!!

11 comments:

  1. If we're voting, lose the wig. You don't need it to define who you are. x

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  2. I'm in agreement with Mark; you're a beautiful, vibrant person in your own right Zoe, there's no need to 'disguise' who you are or what you're going through. And anyway, it's just hair for God's sake! ;)

    Here's wishing you well.

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  3. Zoe, you will know when the time is right! I mean no offence to anyone, but it's not 'just hair' and it does define who we are - if it didn't matter why would we spend all that money getting it cut, styled, coloured? If our hair looks good, we feel good, and I think most women would feel very uncomfortable going out with only a layer of bum fluff over their heads!

    I think the first time I went 'public' was at the hospital when I went for radiotherapy. I felt safe there. Tesco took a whole lot longer! When I finally did go sans wig, I got stares from people. It wasn't the fact they were staring that got to me, it was the pitying looks.

    My lovely sister, however, has never bothered with her wig, she just wore hats which she whipped off if she was hot, no matter where she was!! It sounds as if her hair growth is at the same stage as yours, and she was out on Friday night, for her belated work Christmas meal, looking gorgeous. But that's because she felt comfortable. If you don't feel comfortable, wait until you do - there is no right or wrong answer to this.

    Love as always

    xxx

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  4. it looks as though my sister beat me to a comment, but having seen 2 sisters go through it and be comfortable without wearing a wig, then I say go with what your comfortable with

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  5. I am going through the same thing and haven't had a wig and have always not worn a scarf or hat. I feel more comfortable by doing that because if you have a hat or scarf on people always think or wonder, "why's she got a scarf on"... And to be honest, you are who you are no matter what you're going through. Your friends and family will be with you every step of the way. I was sitting in a coffee shop with a couple of friends and this lady came over and said to me, "I was going through what you're going through 6 months ago so I know how you're feeling..."
    Be strong, look forward, do what you're happy with! Bugger everyone else!
    x

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  6. I'm at the same stage as you, look like I had an argument with some clippers, although I never actually wore my wig. When going out I just ware a baker boy cap or a fitted bandanna. I do take em off once inside depending on where I am and who I'm with. At home I don't care, all my neighbours know what I'm dealing with, although if I'm on the drive I get some funny looks from passing pple. Lol The best is when u answer the door to a stranger. I'm getting to the stage where I wanna ditch with caps, but it's tooooo cold atm. At the end of the day its a personal choice and only you can decide when the time is right. Either way your still beautiful xxx

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  7. Hi Zoe, I'm Gail and Phils sister. I finished all my treatment Jan 4th 2012, apart from having Herceptin. I lost my hair last july and wore scalves all summer until I went to see my father in law in hospital. It was so hot where he was and thats when I thought stuff it and scalf came off. Never looked back since, if people dont like what they see, TUFF. I have 2 wigs, 1 I have worn twice and thats it. I dont care what people think. I go back to work next month and will wear my pink hat with pride and if I get too hot it will come off, customers can like it or not. Good luck and go with what you feel always xxxx

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  9. I've also just taken the plunge, and like you I couldn't understand and still can't, why I am so reluctant to let people see me without. My hair is now about half an inch long, I look like a poor man's version of Judie Dench, but previously I used to colour my hair, now its a sort of badger grey, and its now curly whereas before it was straight! I took the plunge and went into town without my wig, no one stared or burst into fits of laughter! But its the people who know me well that I haven't faced up to yet...see my blog post about my journey out wigless here at http://techno-gran.blogspot.com

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  10. Sorry, that should have read http://techno-gran.blogspot.com/2012/02/incognito.html

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  11. zoe, hiya, i think you look beautiful with out the wig, but do wot makes you feel happier at the time. ive just been diagnoised with breast cancer, ive had the lump removed and lymph gland removed for biopsy, am just waiting on results. but either way ive been told that i will have to have chemo. but reading your stuff has inspired me to be possitive and strong. wot a very brave woman you are. xx natalie(nats) xx

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